Nov 112015

In the world of those who consider themselves “sex addicts” or “sexaholics,” there exists a concept: the “lust-based decision.” Most of us are likely familiar with this. We decide which line to wait on, which seat to take, where to point our eyes as we walk on the basis of some nearby hotness. The thinking […]

Apr 162014

People talk about sex addiction like it’s a thing. Every so often, I offer my opinions – opinions which evolve. Here is where I stand today. First, a couple of objective, indisputable facts: 1) “Sex addiction” is not a psychiatric diagnosis. Nor is any other “behavioral addiction,” such as gambling, overeating, spending, or what have […]

Oct 262013

Is “sex addiction” real? This question obsesses many – clinicians, people who experience themselves as being out of control of their sexual behavior, spouses, partners, friends. But what does the question even mean? This isn’t the first time I’m writing about the question, and I don’t know if I have anything new to say, but […]

Jun 022013
Rethinking addiction

Heads up. My thoughts about sex addiction are evolving. Close readers of this blog know that I’ve struggled a bit with this question. I have written that, while there’s no such thing as sex addiction, I’m indistinguishable from an addict in my behavior. A couple of things are leading me to rethink things: first and […]

Jun 022013

I’ve written a fair amount about the concept of sex addiction. Is it real? Can one be addicted to sex? What does “recovery” look like? Here are a few of my more substantive posts on the question. (My thinking on this is evolving, and quite rapidly, incidentally – in the coming days I’ll have more […]

Nov 132012

I recently tried to read The Myth of Sex Addiction, by David J. Ley, Ph.D. (yet another one of those authors who feels adding “Ph.D.” to his name is important). I made it about fifty pages in, before I folded up my cards and went home. Ley is hell-bent on decimating a straw man, the […]

Sep 122012

I’ve been thinking about the phenomenon of relapses, of slips, among addicts. It’s a very rare addict who doesn’t have a slip (or seven) on the road to recovery. I was lucky enough that my “addiction” was to a behavior, and with an “M.O.,” that didn’t lend itself to catastrophic consequences if I slipped. If/when […]