I’m thinking about the strategies I have for making myself feel alive, when I’m struggling with a feeling of deadness. And I’m revisiting my past.
In the world of those who consider themselves “sex addicts” or “sexaholics,” there exists a concept: the “lust-based decision.” Most of us are likely familiar with this. We decide which line to wait on, which seat to take, where to point our eyes as we walk on the basis of some nearby hotness. The thinking […]
People talk about sex addiction like it’s a thing. Every so often, I offer my opinions – opinions which evolve. Here is where I stand today. First, a couple of objective, indisputable facts: 1) “Sex addiction” is not a psychiatric diagnosis. Nor is any other “behavioral addiction,” such as gambling, overeating, spending, or what have […]
Is “sex addiction” real? This question obsesses many – clinicians, people who experience themselves as being out of control of their sexual behavior, spouses, partners, friends. But what does the question even mean? This isn’t the first time I’m writing about the question, and I don’t know if I have anything new to say, but […]
A loyal reader asked me recently about loneliness, and I tossed off a quick response: “… in general, I don’t think of loneliness as one of my key issues.” Predictably, within a few hours of sending that e-mail, I began to rethink: I think loneliness is, in many ways, central for me. Let me tell […]
Heads up. My thoughts about sex addiction are evolving. Close readers of this blog know that I’ve struggled a bit with this question. I have written that, while there’s no such thing as sex addiction, I’m indistinguishable from an addict in my behavior. A couple of things are leading me to rethink things: first and […]
I’ve written a fair amount about the concept of sex addiction. Is it real? Can one be addicted to sex? What does “recovery” look like? Here are a few of my more substantive posts on the question. (My thinking on this is evolving, and quite rapidly, incidentally – in the coming days I’ll have more […]
Am I a “sex addict”? Is there such a thing? Is it a meaningful term? One reader delights in calling me a sex addict. What do I have to say about it?
I recently tried to read The Myth of Sex Addiction, by David J. Ley, Ph.D. (yet another one of those authors who feels adding “Ph.D.” to his name is important). I made it about fifty pages in, before I folded up my cards and went home. Ley is hell-bent on decimating a straw man, the […]
I’ve been thinking about the phenomenon of relapses, of slips, among addicts. It’s a very rare addict who doesn’t have a slip (or seven) on the road to recovery. I was lucky enough that my “addiction” was to a behavior, and with an “M.O.,” that didn’t lend itself to catastrophic consequences if I slipped. If/when […]