Awkward?

Charlotte promised more than she can deliver. The “Queen of Orgasms” project just makes her too jealous. And the photoshoot I asked her to do – it seems to prick her self-consciousness in a way that isn’t hot.

I gave her every chance to propose alternatives. “I’ll be better about giving alternatives,” she wrote. “The good girl in me just wants to do everything. Without thought. And then it comes time to do it….”

Some time passed. I prodded her for alternatives. I made a suggestion. “Simply make a page [for my blog] with all of YOUR orgasms and edgings.”

I gave her a deadline. “If you don’t give me two proposed alternatives by 11 am, I’m deciding. And this time, there’s no getting out of it.”

Well.

Eleven a.m. has come and gone.

These, my dear, are your two alternative tasks. I trust you can accomplish them each timely, and enthusiastically.

1. When next you have thirty minutes – and as soon as you next have thirty minutes – alone, with privacy, I want you to commence recording yourself as you play with your clit with your vibrator. For fifteen minutes, take all the breaks you need. But don’t come. At the end of this, you’ll have a fifteen-minute recording to send me of you, increasingly desperate. And then? For your second fifteen-minute recording? Please don’t stop coming for me. After that second thirty minutes, press stop on the recording. Take a picture of your pretty face. And send me those three things, in one e-mail: fifteen minutes of edging, fifteen minutes of coming, and your pretty, satisfied face.
2. Start a web page that will contain all of your audio. Post it on my blog. Seed it with these two fifteen-minute recordings. For each separate audio recording, please let there be a separate line on which you give it a title (could be “Edging” or “Coming” or “A really fucking loud orgasm” or “This one was quiet”), where you were (roughly), what you were wearing, vibrator or fingers, and the length of the recording. So, for instance, entry one might read: “Edging endlessly, in my bedroom, nude, with a vibrator, for 15 minutes.”

I would like you to complete #1 today, if at all possible. And if it won’t be possible, I’d like you to tell me that ASAP, and to tell me when it will be possible, in your estimation.

And I would like you to complete #2 by the end of the day tomorrow, if at all possible. And, if it won’t be possible, please tell me that ASAP, and tell me when it will be possible, in your estimation.

I know you want to be a good girl, to say yes to everything. I’m not asking you whether you assent to this; I know you do. I am asking you to be realistic about when you can accomplish each task. That’s actually much more important to me than how soon you accomplish them.

Is that clear?