I just read, at the suggestion of a friend, All My Friends Are Superheroes, by Andrew Kaufman. It’s a quick, light, fun read, about… well, about the superpowers we all have, but might not be inclined to understand as superpowers.
One of the superheroes in the book is called “Someday,” and her superpower is procrastination. Another is the Perfectionist. A third, the Clock.
It’s gotten me to thinking about my superpowers. Of course, there’s my logorrhea. I could be “Words.” Or my capacity for introspection? “The Navel?” My near-perfect orgasmic control? (Back when I spent vast chunks of time nearly every day in massage parlors, several women called me “The Count” because of my propensity to have them count down, from any number, to 1, and then for me to come on, or shockingly close to, 1.)
Like any addict, I am excellent at fleeing unpleasant affect. “The Numb-er”?
I’m pretty good, I’ve been told, at cunnilingus. “The Tongue”?
People tell me I have an irrepressible smirk. “The Smirk”?
I’m unfailingly polite. “Emily Post”?
I’m excellent – truly excellent – at doing anything other than what, honestly, I probably should be doing. Oh wait – Someday already has that one.
These are some of my superpowers. I’m gonna be on the lookout for more. I’m open, of course, to suggestions.
And what about you? What are your superpowers? Want to form a league of superheroes? I think that sounds fun.