Happn

I want it to work. I really do.

But so far, if it does work, it doesn’t work for me.

The idea’s sort of cool, if sort of creepy: it’s sort of like Tinder, but, instead of swiping based on being within 5, or 25, or 100 miles of someone, you swipe based on actually crossing paths with them. In other words, it works in cities, but nowhere else. So in their offices, presumably, they have the path taken by every user of the app. This is the creepy part. I mean, I suppose Google, and Facebook, and all sorts of other people have that already anyway, but it does seem particularly creepy when, for example, Happn tells me (as it’s telling me right now) that I crossed Christine’s path 8 minutes ago, shows me six pictures of her, and tells me that right now, she’s “less than 500 meters away.”

Now, Christine’s hot, so maybe that is cool, after all. But still….

Anyway, after that, it works pretty much like Tinder, but with an added “push” feature: I can, for money, tell Christine that I want to meet her. Or, I can do the Happn equivalent of a Tinder “right-swipe,” and indicate my interest, about which she’ll only learn if she expresses interest in little old me.

I’ve been on for a few days, now, and I haven’t yet had a single “match.” But the ladies look lovely – they’ve got that going for them. (I wonder if they’re real.)

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