I just posted this “code of conduct” here. For archival purposes, I’m posting it here, as a post, on the blog as well. The page will change over time. This post won’t. It’s intended to show you my starting point.
Assurances I offer:
I will do my best to keep anything you send me confidential. I will keep it at least as secure as I keep my own valuable, confidential information. Currently, that means that everything you send sits behind dual-authenticated logins. In other words, to log in to my accounts, one needs my usernames, my passwords, and my cell phone, or one of a small list of random codes that I change regularly. In short, I think it unlikely, but not impossible, that any of my accounts could be hacked. My wife has my logins, and so could, conceivably, see anything you share with me at any time.
A caution/warning: I do NOT promise to delete or destroy information you send me if asked. In the digital life I lead, trying to make stuff disappear, short of deleting entire accounts, is really fucking hard. I tried once to destroy information, and failed dismally. So please understand that a decision to trust me is effectively a decision to trust me forever.
Unless explicitly, expressly authorized by you, in writing – via e-mail, most likely – I will use the material you send me only for my own excitement, titillation, gratification, masturbation, fun, pleasure. If, at any time, you authorize me to use it for some other purpose – to post it, for example, on my blog – I may do so, but your authorization may be revoked at any time. If, after granting me such authorization, you change your mind and revoke that authorization, I will promptly (subject to the constraints of my schedule and my life) remove any requested materials.
My writing about you:
If I write about you, you may choose your name. I will ask you to. You may see anything I write about you in advance of my posting it, other than incidental references to you or allusions to things I’ve previously written. You may request changes in what I’ve written, or that I not write anything at all. I will not publish anything that primarily concerns you, your actions, your body, without your express approval, in advance. (Note: I’ve fucked this up on occasion, and I expect I will again. I’ve never fucked it up intentionally. If I should fuck it up, I apologize in advance, and the next sentence should offer some reassurance.) In the event you don’t like something I’ve written about you on my blog, if you ask me to change it or take it down I almost certainly will. (I can’t think of an instance in which I haven’t, or wouldn’t, but feel the need to hedge, slightly, just to guard against absolutes.)
This “code of conduct” is a work in process, and is subject to constant revision/improvement. I think it unlikely I will remove protections/assurances it offers, and instead, will only add additional such protections/assurances, but that might not be true. I might at some point discover some change I need to make for some reason I can’t anticipate today to a promise or assurance I’ve made, and I reserve the right to do so.
In short? I don’t intend this to be “binding,” but instead, is an attempt to show you how I think about these things.
At some point, after some iteration, maybe I’ll lock it down and commit in a hard and fast way to it, including committing to not revising it. You can help me reach that point by commenting and making suggestions.