I have, on occasion, alluded to a policy of mine relating to blowjobs: in general, the policy, goes, if a woman offers to suck my cock, I will accept that offer.
In recent days, though, it’s occurred to me that it might be useful for me to elaborate the policy a bit, to clarify the real-life workings of the policy, and perhaps, to formalize it just a bit.
So here goes – my draft policy on the question of blowjobs. I have not yet adopted this revised policy, and I invite proposed modifications to the policy. Any revisions will be accepted, modified, or rejected at my sole discretion.
MY (PROPOSED) POLICY ON GETTING MY COCK SUCKED
Whereas, the sensation of a mouth, of lips, of a tongue, attending to my cock, accompanied by ancillary stimulation by the fingers, the thumb, the wrist, the whole hand, is pretty much an unbeatable sensation; and
Whereas, the simultaneous sensation of a woman’s utter vulnerability to me and my utter vulnerability to her is an incredibly powerful mind-fuck; and
Whereas, I generally consider myself dominant, and experience the act of submission, of compliance, on the part of a woman an enormous turn-on, and the opposing act of dominance or aggression to be, often, a turn-off; and
Whereas, there is an ineffable delight associated with that first moment a woman’s tongue touches my cock, her lips kiss it, her hand grips it, her eyes lift to mine, even as my cock fills her face; and
Whereas, my life has not heretofore resulted in an endless stream of beautiful women eager to swallow my cum, but rather, an occasional trickle;
NOW THEREFORE LET IT BE RESOVED, THAT
1) Barring certain exceptions (see below), an assertion by a woman that she needs to suck my cock shall be sufficient to result in her sucking my cock at the soonest possible opportunity; and
2) Barring certain exceptions (see below), an assertion by a woman that she wants to suck my cock shall be sufficient to result in her being given the opportunity to recharacterize the nature of her relationship to the possibility of sucking my cock as one of need, rather than one of want; and
3) Should such a woman who wants to suck my cock not articulate an express need to suck my cock, there shall be a presumption in favor of my granting her the opportunity to suck my cock; and
4) Barring certain exceptions (see below), an assertion by a woman that she is willing to suck my cock shall be sufficient to result in her being given the opportunity to recharacterize the nature her relationship to the possibility of sucking my cock as one of want or need (see above); and
5) Should such a woman who is willing to suck my cock not articulate an express want or need to suck my cock, there shall, nonetheless, be a presumption in favor of my granting her the opportunity to suck my cock, albeit a somewhat weaker presumption than that which shall obtain in 3, above;
AND LET IT BE FURTHER RESOLVED, THAT
There are certain exceptions to the rules expressed above, most notably, in circumstances in which
A) A woman’s willingness, desire, or need to suck my cock is accompanied by either a sense of entitlement or manifest aggression; and/or
B) The woman has sucked my cock previously, less than [six] months ago*; and/or
C) The woman has sucked my cock previously and the experience was overtly unpleasant**; and/or
D) Something about the woman – most often, her voice – renders my cock resolutely un-hard;
in which circumstances
I shall reserve the right to decline the opportunity to bury my cock in said woman’s mouth.
NOTE: I am not saying women for whom exception A, B, C, or D obtains shall necessarily result in a non-blowjob, but rather, that in those circumstances (and in those circumstances alone) I shall consider not receiving a blowjob.
I should say, I’m not a lawyer, so writing up corporate (or corporeal) resolutions isn’t my thing, at all. But I thought this would be fun. And I was right.
* This is not to say that I don’t like having my cock sucked repeatedly by the same person. I definitely definitely do. Rather, it is simply to say that, sometimes, for whatever reason, it’s time to stop having my cock sucked by someone for reasons that have nothing to do with how she sucks my cock. Alas.
** Overtly unpleasant blowjobs are certainly rare, but it simply is not true that there is no such thing as a bad blowjob.