Mar 312014
Sex tips for straight women from a gay man

I just saw a poster for a new show: And it got me thinking. Cosmo always has silly articles along these lines, as do men’s magazines. But they’re all based on this weird, reductionistic assumption that seems intuitively asinine to me: sex is about anatomy. No good sex that I’ve ever had has been about […]

Mar 302014

She asked me this after I told her I needed to see her ass. And at that moment, I most assuredly was an ass man. There are some aspects of my erotic imagination that are, if not fixed, at least relatively consistent: I like clothing in general, and certain types in particular. I enjoy exercising […]

Mar 292014

As I’ve written previously, one way of understanding narcissism isn’t as “incessant, adoring self-regard,” but instead, as “the centrality of the regulation of self-esteem in the conduct of one’s life.” This is me. I emerged into adulthood with the twin convictions that I’m worthless/undesirable, and that the only way that could be disproved would be […]

Mar 282014

Arrogance is in the eye of the beholder. Regardless of what the dictionary says, if you think me arrogant, there’s no meaningful objection I can, or should, offer. Someone who knows me well said, basically, “maybe your acute intelligence and impatience for fools and assholes were mistaken for arrogance.”

Mar 272014

I’m reminded of one of the women with whom I had a relationship back in my CPOS days. I was then as I am now in many ways: the women who sucked my cock were women I got to know, to like, to respect. The three big differences between then and now: secrecy/deception (I hid […]

Mar 262014
Arrogance and confidence

I was recently told that I’m arrogant. Never mind the circumstances, except to say that, for a variety of reasons, regardless of what I actually think, circumstances demanded that I accept the premise, and apologize for my arrogance. My gut response, though, was, “I’m not arrogant. I’m confident. And sometimes, confidence is misread, particularly by […]

Mar 242014

Who are you? During a recent 24-hour period, almost 20% of my visits were by very frequent readers, people who return over and over to this blog. Evidently, what I write consistently interests, or arouses, or pisses off, these folks. People from all over the world, and close to home. Each of the towns or […]

Mar 232014
Changing rape culture

The other day, I posted a radical idea for one way of making just a small dent in our rape culture. To refresh, I imagined a sort of community-generated database of rape accusations and supporting and refuting evidence, provided by people who might seek to bolster their credibility by linking to their social media profiles, […]

Mar 192014
Rape prevention

There’s an app (Lulu – more on them in a moment) designed to help women rate potential boyfriends/dates. And people have found a host of ways to turn the tables on those who harass women on the street (like “Hollaback”). What if there were a web site – “,” say – where people could post […]