Nov 272013
 

Her ambivalence is rampant. Mine, vanquished. Most crudely, I collected her willingness, her compliance, her orgasms, even if only for a night. The prize was won.

This isn’t usually how I conceptualize my desire, my encounters, my relationships. I genuinely don’t prize notches on my belt. Rather, I prize connection, and, usually, sustained connection.

But in this case, I am recalibrated. I needed to have her, for one night. I needed to triumph over her ambivalence, to collect what she had, what I wanted. And I did.

Surprisingly (to me), that was (is) enough. I don’t need more.

Don’t get me wrong: I want more. But I don’t need it. I’m not made crazy by the idea I might not get it, obsessed by the need to triumph once again.

Ironically, inevitably, this almost definitely means I’ll get it.

  One Response to “Update on E”

  1. Hope you can always get what you want. Happy Thanksgiving!

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