“You know that look a woman gets in her eyes when she wants sex? Me neither.” – Steve Martin
“Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement” – Jack Morin, Ph.D. (that’s how he lists his name in his books – but it makes me giggle) wrote that excellent equation in The Erotic Mind, and I like it.
Morin’s equation applies to me, for sure. I do know the look Steve Martin doesn’t know, but if it’s too pronounced, if the woman wants sex, wants me, too much, then there’s no excitement.
I envy those who are excited by logistical obstacles – like those for whom public sex provides enough excitement for them, or role plays, or whatever.
For me, the obstacles that are most exciting are, tragically, correlated with unwillingness to have sex with me. Not always, not perfectly, but it is true that once a woman becomes too much of a sure thing, I start to find her desperate, or needy, and that turns me off.
I’m like Groucho Marx in this way, only more tragic.