“Get it up,” “keep it up”…. These don’t feel remotely accurate to me. They suggest that I have something to do with the mysterious hydraulics of my cock.
I’ve found myself hard on a bus filled with denture-wearing, demented senior citizens, and soft in the mouth of the hottest of sex partners. Sometimes, I think my cock is a barometer of my mental state, my true, subconscious level of desire. Others, I think its turgidity is random, or worse.
I don’t consistently have issues with… performance… but occasionally – just enough to create a bit of a vortex of confidence around the issue. Thankfully, Pfizer has a solution – a little blue pill. People misunderstand what the pill does, and
Pfizer hasn’t done itself any favors, in my opinion, in their marketing of it: claiming it treats “erectile dysfunction” simultaneously stigmatizes the user and promises something it doesn’t do (for me). Viagra doesn’t get me hard when I’m not aroused. Nor does it get me hard when I am aroused. No, what it does for me is to get me harder when I’m hard, to keep me harder longer. It restores my cock to its state when I was 17: easily aroused, hard as a rock, forever. And ever. If I show just the hint of an erection, with Viagra, that slightly erect tissue hardens into a full-blown hard-on.
I don’t know if I have “erectile dysfunction.” I’ve talked with lots of guys about Viagra, and I’ve never met anyone who took it who didn’t swear by it, who wasn’t an evangelist, who doesn’t think all men should use it always.
I occasionally have sex without it – I might forget to bring it with me or take it. And it’s honestly been a couple of years since I (recall having) had a problem.
With one glaring exception:
I’m a guy who’s had some sex in situations where there are others present. I’ve had sex in swing clubs, at sex parties, and in threesomes and foursomes. And my own experience is that, when I’m alone with a woman, the worst my cock will do is demand a lengthy blowjob. In a group? I’m capable of a cock as limp as, well, as limp as a cock can be.
And here’s the thing: I’m not alone. I can’t recall a single instance of group sex at which I’ve been present at which a man other than me hasn’t “failed to launch.”
I have no analysis of why this is, no sense of whether my experience is anomalous (though I suspect not). All I can say is this: when I’m having solo sex with a woman for the first time (or making out, or whatever), my cock is H-A-R-D. When I’m having solo sex with a woman for the 50th time, I may well hunger for a blowjob, for some foreplay, to get me in the mood. But I’ll get there, and it won’t take long – Viagra or not.
When I’m having sex in a room filled with others having sex? Or even just with another couple? All bets are off.
Which isn’t to say I don’t really enjoy it – just that it’s, I think, a part of the experience (at least for me, and, my sense is, for others) – one that’s rarely discussed. So please – if you have experience of your own, please discuss down below in the comments. Am I alone here?